you give me something

"I never thought that I'd love someone that was someone else's dream", James Morrison in You Give Me Something.

I think I started to see someone in a different light. And it's NO good :(

you want to stay with me in the morning

you only hold me when I sleep

I was meant to tread the water

now I've gotten in too deep

for every piece of me that wants you

another piece backs away

.

.

cause you give me something

that makes me scared, alright

this could be nothing

but I'm willing to give it a try

please give me something

cause someday I might call you from my heart

.

.

but it might be a second too late

and the words that I could never say

gonna come out anyway

.

.

.

why do we ask for better once we had the best?

adieu Rambai!

That is it. No more being Rambaian afterwards.*sobs*

Today would be the last day of pampering myself at home. Coz tonite, I'm going back to Penang, where all the miseries will begin. :( I would say that long holidays are somewhat not good, especially for me, as it leads to a torturing homesick afterwards. That is me, always have. And the 'good' (or whatsoever it is called) news is, we're moving to Pala! From Rambai to Pala, what a ...revolution! You see, they are talking bout Tesl students not mingle with other courses', but now who makes the decision to locate only us in a same block? That's something to think about, people. To Anak Pak Man, congratulation for successfully moved to Amra. Tomorrow, I'll experience the same thing, and I'm not pretty sure if I'll mislocate my arms and limbs ( or maybe it's Tyra's arms and limbs) during the process. But at least, I'm not going up the hill, and I, or specifically "we" still be close to our food source. :D

Despite all of this, I'm still looking forward to the first day of school. Not being enthusiastic of handing in LDV homework, no people, neither to hear of any upcoming assignment. The reason will stay a secret, at least until that day. After that, whether you see it or not, something is going to happen! To the particular person, I hope you still remember our promise. Feed them with some drama, okay :)

Tomorrow's not only be the starting of my life in Pala, but also the starting of our third semester of this foundation program. In a few month peeps, we'll be having our finals. We have been doing so good until now, so keep it up, everybody! We were starting it together, so I'm looking forward to finishing it together, too. Good luck, friends. Let's win the battle. And remember, whoever didn't finish reading "To Kill A Mockingbird", you're digging your own grave, dear!

Just a simple reminder to someone who I know will read this entry, stop writing rubbish dear! I know you know that I knew you couldn't make it big, so you made it up, right? Reading about how great you and that person look together makes me feel as sick as the first time I listened to Soko's "My Wet Dreams". It's disgusting!

.copycat.

It's not the cutie little Hello Kitty that my sister used to collect before, neither my pet, Luxury in the Pet Society. It's a COPYCAT!

I hate it when people are copying, or better explained as plagiarising my ideas or work. I had experienced quite a number of incidents when these copycats make me their victim. I understand that as teenagers sometimes we tend to follow what people do because we want to be like them, or we want what other people have because we may think they have more than us. But plagiarising people's ideas and work, I consider it as inconsiderable. You are suppose to get as much as you deserve. If it's not yours, it won't be yours even though how many times you declare they are yours. You are cheating yourselves, aren't you?

For me being a copycat is as the same as you cheat. Not only people around you, but also to yourself. I'm not saying that I'm so good that I never cheat. Yes, I did. I still remember when I was in Form 4, I hate doing Add Math exercises. So me and my best friend Yak always exchange our homework. She'll finish my Add Math tutorial and I'll write her EST essays. We're practising barter system! But at least I got A's for the subjects in SPM, so it doesn't matter much for me. As for her, I think she's doing good as a medic student.

Well, back to the issue. I think I had enough with these copycat thingy. Once, my lecturer asked us to find notes for the next lesson, so I found some and brought it to the class. Then I left my things to go for break. When I came back, I saw this guy reading some notes, and it seemed familiar. So I told him, "we have same sources!" and he said, "no la, this *** asked just now who want the notes. This is from her" I looked at it very carefully, and guess what? Its mine! And then the "innocent" person came in and without feeling guilty, she said to me," Oh, I borrowed your notes just now and photocopied it for the class". WITHOUT EVEN BOTHER TO ASK ME FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, SHE DID DIG IN EVERY OF MY STUFF TO LOOK FOR THE NOTES. Sh*t!!!!

I hate it when somebody messed with my privacy. Yes it's true that we need to give and take. But if everytime it's you who's giving without taking, it's too much.

Not long after that, while everybody was busy with the exam preparation, I made this notes of the topics that were constantly repeated by the lecturers. I'd put in so much effort in it. Then this very close friend of mine asked if she could borrow it and I said yes. I'm more than happy to help others. But the very same person who had "stole" my notes before had take it from her, and photocopied it for her friends. OMG what's the problem with this fella? Always want to do the same thing to me. And the worst is that, the notes at last got in my hands, but it was claimed as other's work.

"Oh, it's ****'s notes" She allows if you want to copy it"

....

Another sh*t is going on here.

Well, I guess there's still many of my fellow friends who don't even know that it belongs to me. Well, it belongs to that by_tch right?

Forget about that. I'm not that bad that I hold grudge over the matter. But afterward, I'll be extra careful that these copycats will not dare to touch my thing AGAIN.

But recently, my idea was ONCE AGAIN been plagiarised by somebody. OMG please la, you are not that stupid to copy other's idea right? Well, I don't like to be looked, or sounded similar to others so I'm TRULY expecting you to stop using it. I tell you, it doesn't even sound original anymore. And it's all thanks to you!

If you still using it as if it's yours, you are definitely THICK-SKINNED, babe!

...

I know I'm quite blunt, but I like it.

...

Please back off, copycat.

...

footnote: I'm so kind that I even say "please" :)

good times gonna come?

slow it down..

make it stop..

or else my heart

is going to pop..

coz its too much

yeah its a lot

to be something I'm not..

WARNING: This entry is basically about self-explanatory ONLY. No hard feeling!

Premis 1:

One fine day, as Miss Letch asked us to find a poem for us to recite the next day, I browsed few websites on poems. That was how I suddenly came across this poem.

A STORY FROM THE HEART

(-.-)

I once heard a story straight from the heart

About a girl and how her world began to fall apart

It all started when she met the boy that made her life complete

Just thinking of him made her heart skip a beat

...

They were the couple everyone wanted to be

There were no imperfections as either one could see

As the weeks passed they fell more in love and were less aware

Of how often life turns out to be unfair

...

Until one day she finally gave in

She realized there was no way she could win

She said I'm sorry but i have to let you go

As he reached for her hand she pulled away whispering no

...

When she turned around a tear slid down her cheek

He just stood there speechless, forgetting how to speak

The next few days were the hardest at home

She truly felt she was all alone

...

Her mom pushed in her face how she had won

Her dad said "i knew he was just another one"

Her sister said "come on you'll be ok"

And her brother just tried to stay away

...

At school it was like her friends weren't even there

None of them seemed to really care

Her life had no more color, just black and white

Even getting out of bed turned into a fight

...

Despite their tries things just weren't like before

Then he decided "i don't wanna try anymore"

At that she tried to cut him out

But the more she ignored him the more her feelings began to shout

...

When she saw him that day she could no longer just walk by

And before she knew it her mouth opened up and out came "hi"

He looked up and said "so now we're talking?"

She just smiled and join his walking

...

Everyday they talked a little more

And everyday she began to like him a little less then before

As the months passed by she became more and more aware

About how its ok life's unfair

...

Because eventually everything becomes your past

But your memories will always last

And with that i hope you see

Not all love is meant to be

...

But hold on and don't give in

Stand tall, hold up your chin

And believe me when i say

The right one will come one day

He'll open your eyes to things you couldn't ever see

I know this because..

this is a story all about me...

Your interpretation?

.................................................

Basically its all about a typical heartbreaking love story right? What had made me so that into this poem is the last part,

About how its ok life's unfair
Because eventually everything becomes your past
But your memories will always last

Could somebody be that positive? I know things happen for a reason but somehow there are things in this life that we can't let go no matter how hard we've tried. Do you agree? But of course I'm not talking about the lame puppy-love story here, I'm talking about a real life situation. For example if you lose a friend for a stupid reason, would you simply accept the fact that the friendship you've built has come to the end?

Premis 2:

This morning (or maybe afternoon) I was texting with my roomate Tyra, bout hols and homework we had. Out of the blue, without a warning, "this name" just pop-out in our conversation. And without a warning too, my heart felt like its about to explode sooner or later, because somehow talking about that person makes me feel uneasy. I remembered the night when Tyra sent me this message, reminding me of "that person's birthday.

OMG what happened to this world? Duh, it doesn't revolve ONLY around "that person"!!

But my heart ached. No matter how tough I might look from outside, this thing is undeniable. I can't help myself from sigh and sign and sigh about how life is unfair. If life is that good, then why should there be problems? Why we need to hurt each other? Why life takes back what I had before?

.I miss being Dolphins.

.I miss being us.

.I miss our smiles.

.I miss our laugh.

I truly miss being with you all!

.....

Things we had before, why everything seemed in black and white now?

GOOD TIMES GONNA COME by AQUALUNG

Need to know

If you're letting go

It's alright,alright, it's alright

Didn't know I was hurting you so

It's alright, alright, it's alright.

...

You came to me from nowhere

With nothing

And no-one

Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight

Goes to show

You never really know

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

...

This is just one of those

Lonely night

The good times gonna come

...

See me then

Investing so much

In you, in you, in you

Came so close

To the edge I do, I do, I do

...

This is just one of those

Lonely night

The good times gonna come

...

In the end

We let it go away

We let it float away

On the breeze

'Round the bend

The sun is in the sky

It's starting to look like

It's gonna be, yeah, it's gonna be

A bright

Beautiful day

...

Yeah, the good times gonna come, oh no

The good times gonna come!

Now my heart is really going to pop out. I can hear it screaming inside:

footnote: mimpilah yana! and you know you never had a dream comes true~

.back home.

Being home makes me feel great. At least I'm not surrounded with all the hustle and bustle of class hour. But still, there's a lot to do at home that I'm fully occupied with loads of holiday present, especially from our beloved Miss Letch. =.=

Just before we went back home, we had this dramatization for our English Studies, our "An Evening With Shakespeare". Thank God, we did well. Good job everyone!

Few piccas:-

.2 Tesl 1.

.my MOV groupies.

.cohort 2.

Unfortunately, being home is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when it comes to my LDV homework. OMG I swear they were way too much for a three weeks hols. Finishing the Langan book seems impossible at first, but once I start with it, its kinda easy. So the moral here is to start your work immediately, don't procrastinate everybody!

So far I've done with the first three chapters of the Langan book. Still looking forward to the remaining two chapters. Hehe. I bet not only Miss Letch will be proud of me, John J. Langan himself would be pleased with my determination. Hoho~Actually I'm kinda bored with this hols as no plan come up yet since we had to cancel our holiday trip. :( So I spent my days doing my homework, in case if any plan come up soon. BUT the next two chapters in Langan book are freaking boring and long chapters, so now I better prepare myself for it.

Damn! Haven't started with To Kill A Mockingbird. Haven't started the dramatization reflection. Owohoho~

Another bad news, I'm not going to attend my mjsc batch's reunion as it will be held on June 27th. Too bad that I'm back in Penang at that time. :((