Untitled

.

God knows how much I miss the old days :)

I thought friends are for everyone :(

When Ayoon told me about her friend purposely humiliated her through facebook few weeks ago, I secretly wished I could stand out for her. You know, purposely and humiliating people are two big no-nos for me. But Ayoon thinks its still okay, considering that they are her friends. But recently, a friend of mine just did the same for me, and most importantly, for no reason at all. I was shocked, but it didnt stay for long. I got much better things to worry about other than some cheapo's talking bad about me. And through facebook? So lame.


.
I wonder, why such people have to do such thing? Like for the person doing that to me, I am not sure if it was satisfied or not with my respond. Like seriously seriously, I dont have the time for stupid, immatured matter like this. Please grow up, pal. Pretty pretty pleasee. Maybe you did it to gain attention, but it makes you sound even stupider than ever. Huh.


.
I think I am considerate enough towards you. I dont want a war, I dont want anything. Not even revenge or equal humiliation. All this while, I ignored people's talking about you being this and that, because I thought I've seen the other side of you. But you proved me wrong. They are absolutely right. I feel sorry for you. And also to myself, for even considering you as a bestfriend. Pal, I dont hate you, I just cant love you anymore.


.
.
Readers, Im sure all of you have friends. So I just wanna ask, in friendship is there any terms of "stealing others' friends" ? Because I was continuously blamed for it :(


.
Thought friends are for everyone T.T

Growing pain.

So far away, I wish you were here

Before it's too late, this could all disappear..

.

.

.

Is it wrong to try not to care when you feel like you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you?

.

Dear best friend, I miss you.

.

Once upon a time I was a loser.

When I was a schoolgirl, young and naive, I'd always wanted to be "in" with this group in my class. Because I was only a librarian and most of them were prefects, for sure I was having this feeling of inferior towards them. But they did accept me well, thanks for my brain that at least I could cope up with these "elites".pheww. So I was in, the group I mean. But when times flew by I realized that one of them, named XX didn't like me so much.And I didn't like her either. Perasan sangat. I now she was smart, but I'm in the straight As list too. Whats the different,babe? So while others were being so kind to me, this girl continuesly ostracized me until we finished school. We both succeeded with flying colors and we went to our own path without even having a last glance to each other.

.

.

Recently, after quite some years, we were reunited by fate. Thanks to Facebook, I guess. Heh. So I was okay with her, (it wasn't me who added her in my friend list. She did, okay?) despite everything she had done to me. There were other friends too, and we settled up nicely and were so happy to finally gather again after a long time. And guess what? She's the only one who's never try to talk to me, even virtually, or respond to the comments I've send to our group members.What the heck, buddy? Am I invisible? Or I guess your insecurity comes back after seeing me, now?

.

.

I'm in a good course. I earned the scholarship. I am going to further my studies overseas. How about you XX?

.

.

Now we know who's the biggest loser here, right? Congratz!

You had put quite a show :)

.

.

Sayang, you can dance!

One of the reasons why 2009 captures many beautiful moments in my life is because this year, I start something that I've been longing to since like forever. I dance! Though I dont have any experience in this thingy, let alone expertise, I really want to try it. For even once! So, together with my lovahs, I babystep to the world of dancer and to my surprise, I never wanna stop. Not even now.

.

.

.

I remember volunteered myself for dancing since late 2008, when the seniors demand for dancers from TESL students. But unfortunately, the performance was cancelled at the last minute and to admit, I was quite disappointed. Seems like my hours of practice are thrown into the stinky, black garbage bin. Plus, we were about to do a traditional dance for "Walinong Sari" and for the beginners like us, we put a very commited effort for it. For nothing :(

.

.

.

But our first performance was during the Suara Jati Night, when we were invited to perform. It was on 30th of July if I'm not mistaken. So with less than a week practice, we got on stage performing a country hiphop dance, Hoedown Throwdown from Hannah Montana movie. It wasn't anything serious anyway, but we were extremely happy. As if we got all the fame from that night. Hahaha. We were seriously beginners.

.

.

.

And we named our dance group Legasi Katana, which we ourselves weren't so sure of the real meaning. And this is also because they rejected the "The Red Songket" name I gave :(

.

.

.

the legacy.katana legacy :P


naming a few: lanlan.ridz.yayan (me).pyan.tyra.mierul

...plus afifi,lara,tq, hannah

.

.

My second time was during the Teacher's Day celebration, in which we collaborated with the Rajawali Sakti Group performing Kurik Kundi. This day was also when we promoted our Siswa Budaya Club which is looking for new faces. This time was even tougher than our first time. With two days practice, and the stress put by the senior dancers (who were extremely enchanting.lovelovelove them ) make us not at ease. But the performance went on smoothly at last. Thank God :)

.

.

.

Behind. Left to right: Ridz, Tyra, Kak Noni, Liyana, Kaber.

Front. Left to right: Izat, Kak Sya, Kak Syue, Lara, Pyan.

.

.

Legasi Katana and Rajawali Sakti--hand in hand

[the senioritas: Liyana, Noni, Tyra, Lara, Syue, Nisya]

[those from Legasi Katana]

.happy moments.

.

.

.

The best time ever--TESL Night 2009. With the theme of Arabic Masquerade, we put on our mask and rocked the stage! We performed an Arabic-modern dance, with range of songs from Amr Diab to Lady Gaga. The duration was the longest since before and I have to say, I never commit to anything harder than this. For this performance, put aside everything. I missed one or two SS discussion for it.

.

.

Seriously, it worth it.

the poster :)

princessas

the moments captured :)

.

.

.

I had so much fun that night. It was totally the night I'd like to remember for a lifetime. We could taste the sweetness of the sweatS-y practices we had (Euww).

.

.

.

In a nutshell, I just love dancing. Hee :))

.

.

.

For the cynical lookS and jokeS about me clubbing whatsoever, just go to hell. I don't give a shit lah! I take it as a compliment, anyway :))))

And the boom boom clap ends--

June 3oth, our very first performance as a group in this college. "Legasi Katana" is the name choosen for this group of amateur dancers, even I prefer "The Red Songket" name more. We were given the honour of doing the closing performance for Suara Jati competition that night, even we only have less than a week to decide and practice the dance. At first, we were torn between the "Walinong Sari" dance and the "Hoedown Throwdown " dance. And oh by the way, it is the dance you can see in Hannah Montanna the Movie :) After a short discussion, we decided to go for the Hoedown throwdown thingy, even though it's a modern hip hop-country dance that we'd never tried before. And believe me, the only guide we had was a solely video from Hannah Montanna dance crew. And yet, I think we've done a good job XD

.pyan.yana.tyra.

.star or stardust?.

.yana.pyan.


.legasi katana aka the red songket.


.tyra.yana.pyan.

.rajawali sakti, our seniors.

.with kak noni.

.ridz.pyan.yana.

.ridz.yana.tyra.pyan.

.lara.ridz.yana.pyan.

.

.

.

I've been trying to upload the video but it's no good due to the crappy internet connection here. Well, I can say it's just the agony of being one of the ground floor-ers perhaps. Well, its already uploaded in youtube so browse your server, peeps (if you're interested). Just search for ....err..our group name =D . The recording was not so good though, and I don't even know who was recording it at that time. If God willing, I'll upload it later on, because my recorded-by-mr labu-version is way better. Thanx foster :)

.

.

Just a little thanks for my " Legasi Katana" crew for giving full cooperation to each other, and for having faith when we dont have the spirit to keep on moving.

.

.

.

.Hannah, Azlan, Tyra, Ridz, TQ, Pyan, Lara, Mierul, Afifi and of course, ME! :)

.

.

.

Footnote:

Looking forward for next week's skits performance. Now I wonder am I in a teacher trainee instituition or Akademi Fantasia. LOL.

you give me something

"I never thought that I'd love someone that was someone else's dream", James Morrison in You Give Me Something.

I think I started to see someone in a different light. And it's NO good :(

you want to stay with me in the morning

you only hold me when I sleep

I was meant to tread the water

now I've gotten in too deep

for every piece of me that wants you

another piece backs away

.

.

cause you give me something

that makes me scared, alright

this could be nothing

but I'm willing to give it a try

please give me something

cause someday I might call you from my heart

.

.

but it might be a second too late

and the words that I could never say

gonna come out anyway

.

.

.

why do we ask for better once we had the best?

a vanished friend called---"It"

A vanished friend, but ironically the person is still here but it seems like the person is near but yet so far away. Not talking, not sharing. Just living our days assuming that we never know each other. Ermm..okay. Not that bad. But doesn’t it hurts to know that someone who used to be closed to us choose to isolate us (in their own way of course) and both pretend that we don’t matter much to each other? Owh its so damned yes!! Its hurt!!

My vanished friend—or can I called it “It” hurts me so much when “It” choose to draw a line between us. We used to be very close but then without we realizing we’re going apart. It’s so obvious that “It” don’t want me to be in its bunch of friends, providing all of them are “good” people and I don’t belong with them. Its all started when someone new came in our friendship. At first “It” was fine; “It” seemed okay with the newbie. But then “It” started to act weird, keep looking for my fault and everything seem wrong in “its” eyes. And now, even when I text “It”, its either no reply or an-hour-delayed-reply. Friendship is weird isn’t it? I always thought that friends don’t leave, but now I learn that they will eventually leave when they feel like leaving us. Unfortunately in my case I was the one who was blamed, ironically for being left behind.

One question, are we good enough to judge others? I don’t mean daily gossiping judging people in the basis of clothes or attitude, but harshly telling people that they are bad and not as good as you. This is what “It” did to me. Providing “It” is sooooooooooooooo damned good that "It” feels that "It” is a better person. I don’t like to talk bad about people but this thing really drives me up the wall. Funny rite accusing people for being bad when you are actually worse than them but hiding all your wrongdoings with all the pious thing you claimed you did. Poor friend, I think you should see yourself first and think back are you good enough to talk somebody else’s wrongdoings. I maybe bad from your eyes, but at least there are things that I didn’t do, but you,(the pious one) do.

For all these time I’ve been defending “It” from others who say bad things about “It” , that “It” is narrow minded, harsh, rude, hypocrite just because I thought we are friends. But now I proudly say that they are right. You’re no good. And for the first time ever, I don’t regret losing a friend. A fake friend, and I called it "It"

ps: Poor grammar, I know. Mixed of emotions are trembling inside me.But since neither Madam Lee nor Mr Teoh would read this, I dont really care. Mind my English :D

.reminiscence of my hooha group.

I always think that life is not fair to separate me from my lovettes. Whenever I got problem or something bad come out, I will sigh and hope that all my lovettes are there to help me. I just cudnt stop comparing my other friends with them. But for sure, they’d never be replaced. They’re always have the special place in my life. Because they’re the ones who make me realized that friendship is not about who comes first or who stays longer, it’s all about who comes and never leave.

::midie my sengalest class rep::

What makes me post this entry is not because I suddenly think bout them or I got problem and I need them to comfort me, but it always good to reminisce old days with our beloved friends. Last night my friend, Midie who’s currently in Jakarta texted me telling how much he missed our friends. Me too Midie, I missed you all damned much! Hopefully your jantung and tulang xm went on smoothly today. Tawakal is a must tau! Hehe.. And after that, Sarah who’s currently in Egypt texted me, also bout the ‘missing’2 thingy. Missed you so Sarah gedixx!!

::afiq my abang long (left)::

And just now, Afiq who’s the nearest to me of all (except the fact that he’s in mainland and Im in the island) texted me. It have been long since we last have a long chat so there were lotsa thing to say. Thanks for missing me friend! I do missed you too lah~wee..We talked about old days and the most important thing, bout his girl. Cum’on la Afiq, theres nothing to worry lah. She’s good ryte if not how cud you fall for her at the first place?? Im sure you can get over your internal conflict soon. Be confident of yourself okey? Be happy^^Shameful lah my Abang Long be this weak. Huhu~ And yeah..bout Mr Redza getting enganged without telling us. Cruel lah sir *growl*

::sarah+me+tan::

When I look back these entire things, I realized that life’s not easy for all of us. It’s not only me who faced these kinds of situations but also them. The difference is that the way we handle things. But one thing Im sure of is that Im blessed to have them. We might be separated by distance, but we know that we live in each others and no matter what happens, we’ll stay this way.

.LOVE YOU ALL TO DEATH.