a vanished friend called---"It"

A vanished friend, but ironically the person is still here but it seems like the person is near but yet so far away. Not talking, not sharing. Just living our days assuming that we never know each other. Ermm..okay. Not that bad. But doesn’t it hurts to know that someone who used to be closed to us choose to isolate us (in their own way of course) and both pretend that we don’t matter much to each other? Owh its so damned yes!! Its hurt!!

My vanished friend—or can I called it “It” hurts me so much when “It” choose to draw a line between us. We used to be very close but then without we realizing we’re going apart. It’s so obvious that “It” don’t want me to be in its bunch of friends, providing all of them are “good” people and I don’t belong with them. Its all started when someone new came in our friendship. At first “It” was fine; “It” seemed okay with the newbie. But then “It” started to act weird, keep looking for my fault and everything seem wrong in “its” eyes. And now, even when I text “It”, its either no reply or an-hour-delayed-reply. Friendship is weird isn’t it? I always thought that friends don’t leave, but now I learn that they will eventually leave when they feel like leaving us. Unfortunately in my case I was the one who was blamed, ironically for being left behind.

One question, are we good enough to judge others? I don’t mean daily gossiping judging people in the basis of clothes or attitude, but harshly telling people that they are bad and not as good as you. This is what “It” did to me. Providing “It” is sooooooooooooooo damned good that "It” feels that "It” is a better person. I don’t like to talk bad about people but this thing really drives me up the wall. Funny rite accusing people for being bad when you are actually worse than them but hiding all your wrongdoings with all the pious thing you claimed you did. Poor friend, I think you should see yourself first and think back are you good enough to talk somebody else’s wrongdoings. I maybe bad from your eyes, but at least there are things that I didn’t do, but you,(the pious one) do.

For all these time I’ve been defending “It” from others who say bad things about “It” , that “It” is narrow minded, harsh, rude, hypocrite just because I thought we are friends. But now I proudly say that they are right. You’re no good. And for the first time ever, I don’t regret losing a friend. A fake friend, and I called it "It"

ps: Poor grammar, I know. Mixed of emotions are trembling inside me.But since neither Madam Lee nor Mr Teoh would read this, I dont really care. Mind my English :D