Entri kueh lompang untukmu. (entry panjang berbahasa Melayu)

Coz I wonder where you are

And wonder what you do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely

Or is someone loving you?

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Bagusnya kalau ada someone at least care enough nak tanya aku macam ni T.T Last-last dok replay lagu sama je sepanjang hari, suara Rachel Berry yang hodoh pulak tu dengan boyfie dia yang ala-ala Dakota Stanley junior bak kata Nab. Tape asal jiwaku terlayan :D First of all, ni first time berbelog dalam Bahasa Melayu, tho rojak-rojak gitu. Tak kesala, sebab ade rationalnya tau. Sebab banyak sangat emosi yang nak disampaikan, and kadang-kadang if berbelog in English, maksudnya tak sampai gitu. Sebab mana best nak mencarut dalam BM. Kankan?

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Emosi pertama.Losing touch. Penah tak kau rasa macam sebelum ni kau hebat je buat something, tapi tibatiba dah tak hebat or kau dah hilang minat dah. Ha macam tu lah rasanya. Cuma aku, dalam semua benda pon rasa da tak bagus. Contohnya, nak blogging dalam English pon da macam tak reti. Blogging dalam English pon da xtau ape perkataan dia. (oke. hyperbole.) But macam tu la rasanya, down sangat. Rasanya kena marah ngan Miss Letch pun tak rasa camni. Sekarang nak makan pun annoying gila sebab sampai je depan meja Mami tak tau nak order ape. Memang annoying. Pastu salahkan diri sendiri bila terdail Pizza or McD or Hakim (mintak tolong hantar gi QB gagaga). Tapi macam tu la hakikatnya. Bosan sangat hidup ni. Korang tak penah rasa bosan ke?

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Aku juga kemalasan. Starting awal sem agi. Ni memang hakikat yang sahih. Dulu kau boleh ah sindir-sindir aku kata aku takyah study sebab aku memang rajin la, memang pandai la. Sekarang da takyah nak sindir-sindir aku camtu. Sebab aku da tak rajin. Taktau kerajinan da dibawa lari kemana. Ke Aussie mungkin. wahaha -.-"

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Emosi kedua adalah kemarahan. Lately memang agak baran. Tengok orang landing-landing atas conforter aku pun rasa nak sepak. Sorry, aku paham conforter aku wangi, but kalau tengok kapel dok menggedik kat cafe pun aku rasa nak sepak, kalau orang wat harta aku macam harta sendiri lagi la rasa nak sepak kan. And sangat bengang ngan orang yang suka buat bising. Tho keje aku hari-hari adalah tenung buku-buku and worksheet, tak semestinya aku takperlukan environment yang confortable, Tu sebab aku selalu buat muka kalau kau datang bilik aku (sambil menunding jari ke arah XX).

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Dan satu lagi benda marah-marah aku adalah orang yang menyindir perkara-perkara yang berbunyi, "kau takpe kau pandai" or "kau xpayah baca semua da ade dalam kepala". Ini memang taik kau tau tak. Kalau aku pandai pun sebab aku concentrete dalam kelas (konon la) and aku tak buang masa buat bendabenda lame macam sesetengah orang. Contoh bendabenda lame adalah bercakap-cakap sambil makan tengahari kat bilik lama2 sambil tengok movie or drama. Aku pun tengok, tapi tak secara berjemaah sebab bila ramai-ramai, lagha kau tau tak. Hee. Tak paham manusia ni. Pastu bila orang lain dapat result tinggi mula nak menyindir2 as if orang dapat result tinggi tu sebab turun dari langit. Mak kau dari langit!

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Dulu selalu menyalurkan rasa marah kat Syahmi. And by selalu I really mean selalu. Mungkin sebab tu dia selalu lari dari aku. Mana taknya nampak cantik (?) kan tapi rupa-rupanya scary gila. Emo and suka marahmarah. Ni Abah aku kata. Kata beliau lagi, aku ada semua sifat2 dia except in controlling anger. Betulkah?

.

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btw da berapa hari da xbertexting dengan Syahmi juga sebab sedang kemarahan. Harap awak faham :D

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Things that I'm dying for right now:

• Balik rumah bergonjeng dengan mereka dan keluarga mereka. Means my family :)

Twin ke tak? Haa.

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• Sufficient money for return tickets to Portsmouth, Birmingham and Sydney. Oh, pegi UIA juga mungkin. Ececehh.

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• Satu lagi return ticket pegi Indonesia. Anyone?

ps:

aku da tengok Glee episod 16.heee :))

korang tau tak kueh lompang tu metaphor untuk apa? kalau betul aku belanje. Tapi Najihah Mohamad takleh join contest ni sebab dia da tawu.

btw kat atas tu lagu Lionel Richie tau. Kot2 ada yang nak donlod.

I thought friends are for everyone :(

When Ayoon told me about her friend purposely humiliated her through facebook few weeks ago, I secretly wished I could stand out for her. You know, purposely and humiliating people are two big no-nos for me. But Ayoon thinks its still okay, considering that they are her friends. But recently, a friend of mine just did the same for me, and most importantly, for no reason at all. I was shocked, but it didnt stay for long. I got much better things to worry about other than some cheapo's talking bad about me. And through facebook? So lame.


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I wonder, why such people have to do such thing? Like for the person doing that to me, I am not sure if it was satisfied or not with my respond. Like seriously seriously, I dont have the time for stupid, immatured matter like this. Please grow up, pal. Pretty pretty pleasee. Maybe you did it to gain attention, but it makes you sound even stupider than ever. Huh.


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I think I am considerate enough towards you. I dont want a war, I dont want anything. Not even revenge or equal humiliation. All this while, I ignored people's talking about you being this and that, because I thought I've seen the other side of you. But you proved me wrong. They are absolutely right. I feel sorry for you. And also to myself, for even considering you as a bestfriend. Pal, I dont hate you, I just cant love you anymore.


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Readers, Im sure all of you have friends. So I just wanna ask, in friendship is there any terms of "stealing others' friends" ? Because I was continuously blamed for it :(


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Thought friends are for everyone T.T

a vanished friend called---"It"

A vanished friend, but ironically the person is still here but it seems like the person is near but yet so far away. Not talking, not sharing. Just living our days assuming that we never know each other. Ermm..okay. Not that bad. But doesn’t it hurts to know that someone who used to be closed to us choose to isolate us (in their own way of course) and both pretend that we don’t matter much to each other? Owh its so damned yes!! Its hurt!!

My vanished friend—or can I called it “It” hurts me so much when “It” choose to draw a line between us. We used to be very close but then without we realizing we’re going apart. It’s so obvious that “It” don’t want me to be in its bunch of friends, providing all of them are “good” people and I don’t belong with them. Its all started when someone new came in our friendship. At first “It” was fine; “It” seemed okay with the newbie. But then “It” started to act weird, keep looking for my fault and everything seem wrong in “its” eyes. And now, even when I text “It”, its either no reply or an-hour-delayed-reply. Friendship is weird isn’t it? I always thought that friends don’t leave, but now I learn that they will eventually leave when they feel like leaving us. Unfortunately in my case I was the one who was blamed, ironically for being left behind.

One question, are we good enough to judge others? I don’t mean daily gossiping judging people in the basis of clothes or attitude, but harshly telling people that they are bad and not as good as you. This is what “It” did to me. Providing “It” is sooooooooooooooo damned good that "It” feels that "It” is a better person. I don’t like to talk bad about people but this thing really drives me up the wall. Funny rite accusing people for being bad when you are actually worse than them but hiding all your wrongdoings with all the pious thing you claimed you did. Poor friend, I think you should see yourself first and think back are you good enough to talk somebody else’s wrongdoings. I maybe bad from your eyes, but at least there are things that I didn’t do, but you,(the pious one) do.

For all these time I’ve been defending “It” from others who say bad things about “It” , that “It” is narrow minded, harsh, rude, hypocrite just because I thought we are friends. But now I proudly say that they are right. You’re no good. And for the first time ever, I don’t regret losing a friend. A fake friend, and I called it "It"

ps: Poor grammar, I know. Mixed of emotions are trembling inside me.But since neither Madam Lee nor Mr Teoh would read this, I dont really care. Mind my English :D

.hurts.like.hell.

Life is weird sometimes. You can’t expect the future at all. If you wanna be safe, expect the unexpectable so one day when the time has arrive, it won’t hurt much. I was badly injured in and out, for I always believe in happy ending, where everybody will be equally pleased. I do make mistakes but I don’t regret it. It was who I am, but I’ve changed. I know I’ve wronged someone in the past for being super duper childish, stupid and inconsiderable. But it was in the past...and what I’m asking for now is a second chance..


I know we can’t expect things to be just the way we want but, all this time, I’ve been living with one faith. The one that I just realized only keeping me from moving on. One thing that never allow me to be truthfully happy.


I just wanna scream and lose control.Throw my hands up and let it go.Forget about everything and runaway.I just want to fall and lose myself.Laughing so hard it hurts like hell.Forget about everything and runaway.

.mixed.of.emotion.

.hectic.
.tiring.
.challenging.

-epitome of life-

This week was tough enough to make me realize that life is a long journey and we actually got less time than we thought. Everyone got their own path to go through, and whether they can make it or not, its all depend on them. Im all stressed up wit all this thingy. Sometimes I felt Im not strong enough to go on, but I keep holding on to faith that good times gonna come sooner or later. But faith is not a guarantee that things gonna be all right in the future~ I think Im geting lazier btw..You know, how it feels to face the same thing every day and make you sick of it (like a devil sick of sin) Im revolting, trembling, yelling, drowning.. and other -ings that u can think of. The most annoying thing that had happened- I got this super sexy voice. Its obviously sexy till I could hardly say a word T.T

But there were good things that had happened along this week. Out to Disterd College for International Woman Day meeting. It was awesome, except the act that we nearly missed our Asar prayer because the person in charge was really excited in making plan for the celebration. I was worried that we gonna have to have a “sleepover” there. But fortunately, we managed to perform our prayer at last, and it was in Gurney! Well, Disterd don’t have surau I think coz all the students were nons- and to our surprise, were the only Malay representatives for that occasion. And on that day, I could tell, IPPs were more shining that any of the KDUs or SEGIs. Wee~

We also had a great time doing some “art” there. Ok, mencapab is really a nature I here, not nurture.Ngeh3~

.me.pyan.

.pyan.me.anis.zalia.


.zalia.pyan.me.anis.

Only now I remember. Got something to do lah! I should come out with the proposal next week.Haiyak~Any idea for telematch anyone?

And also, we had a wonderful tyme during ELC’s Chinese New Year celebration. At least with all those red thingies there I felt as if my spirit were also boost up^^ Cohort 2, believe me, we looked super duper cool in red! Luv these pix~

Im just wondering why am I writing this, while I still got tons of works to do..??

the old Lie:

• Assignments are mounting…again! Like pouring rain, we’re again showered by loads of work to do. I just hope this unbearable misery to walk away. Or at least, fading by time. Cant life spare me some space to breathe? Im tired of this distressing, bad time consumer thingy dat keeps on clinging our life. And now, aha..! More ole2 for this coming holiday. *should I be happy??* I know its part of student life but I never expect of something like this. Homework comes to you like a group of monster in a marathon to catch you. Yes, it is dat bad!! But yet, I wonder why I dun collapse yet. In this case, I think milo helps a lot..=)

DANCING QUEEN

• Okeyh, this is another thing dat make things worse. The dance performance for Relay 4 Life. Its not dat I dun wanna take part, but I wish I cud have more than 24/7 in my life. I love dancing, but on top of everything, study comes first. Im not a flexible person who can adjust maself due to situation. Im the type of ..I can say have a “pathological fear” of last minute work. Its so bad it can kill me..T.T

• Whatever it is, I’ll just wait patiently for these two days to pass by. Then, I’ll reach home! Whats better than to be with our family? Mumi, I want nasi dagang..huhu~

• Today was a tiring one. But one thing dat made it all worthwhile was dat my group had done with our ES presentation and we’re all satisfied with dat. Good job everyone. Million thanks to you all^^ The old Lie: Dulce Et Decorum Est.

• Tomorrow sure be a more tiring one. I heard they wanna play rugby tomorrow =.= For these two weeks I’ve not been myself during PE period. I went for handball and football before. Then yesterday, our cohort went for dat Tujuh Tin game. Lebam lah kaki! Im thinking of way to skip tomorrow’s game. Dun wanna play rugby..T.T

Cudnt upload any photos..Bad blogspot~