Growing pain.

So far away, I wish you were here

Before it's too late, this could all disappear..

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Is it wrong to try not to care when you feel like you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you?

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Dear best friend, I miss you.

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A post with Adam's photo! A must see!

.budakdemamyangsengal.dantakbergigidepan.

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Even a quick update is out of my reach now. Im running out of ideas and quite lazy to blog now. Please gimme some suggestion, otherwise you'll be seeing this blog in it's worst condition soon.

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And please mind the title of this entry. It's just Adam. Nobody is interested in him except more than Anis Hanani does.

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Take care :)

Once upon a time I was a loser.

When I was a schoolgirl, young and naive, I'd always wanted to be "in" with this group in my class. Because I was only a librarian and most of them were prefects, for sure I was having this feeling of inferior towards them. But they did accept me well, thanks for my brain that at least I could cope up with these "elites".pheww. So I was in, the group I mean. But when times flew by I realized that one of them, named XX didn't like me so much.And I didn't like her either. Perasan sangat. I now she was smart, but I'm in the straight As list too. Whats the different,babe? So while others were being so kind to me, this girl continuesly ostracized me until we finished school. We both succeeded with flying colors and we went to our own path without even having a last glance to each other.

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Recently, after quite some years, we were reunited by fate. Thanks to Facebook, I guess. Heh. So I was okay with her, (it wasn't me who added her in my friend list. She did, okay?) despite everything she had done to me. There were other friends too, and we settled up nicely and were so happy to finally gather again after a long time. And guess what? She's the only one who's never try to talk to me, even virtually, or respond to the comments I've send to our group members.What the heck, buddy? Am I invisible? Or I guess your insecurity comes back after seeing me, now?

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I'm in a good course. I earned the scholarship. I am going to further my studies overseas. How about you XX?

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Now we know who's the biggest loser here, right? Congratz!

You had put quite a show :)

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To all daddies :))

Conner Rhodes: Why does your father act like a retard?
Lucy : He is.

Conner Rhodes: Are you a retard too?
Lucy : No!
Conner Rhodes: How do you know?
Lucy : Because he told me.
Conner Rhodes: But he's a retard!
Lucy : It takes one to know one.
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Have you ever watch I am Sam? I watched it last night and God, it is such a good movie. I regret not watching it earlier, as proposed by a friend. What can I say is the movie touches my heart and it is truly the perfect definition of the word, father. Each and every line in the movie draws emphaty from the viewer, or at least me myself. I am not shame to admit that I sobbed a bit after watching it.It is not really a commercial movie, its what we call message movie. Highly recommended to watch by Yours Truly :)
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I am Sam is a movie about a man named Sam, whose mental capasity is of a seven years old. He solely raises up his child, Lucy since her mother abondoned them after she gave birth to Lucy. Though Sam is retarded, he is supported by his own group of similarly disabled friends and together they bring Lucy up. When she reaches 7, she surpasses Sam's mental disability. What moves me a lot is the time when Sam tries to read for Lucy, and he just can't. And Lucy, on the other hand, pretends that she also doesn't know the word, probably because she doesn't want to hurt her father's feeling. I love this movie because it shows what a father can do to give the best for his child even though it is beyond his limit, and in this case, Sam tries very hard to win over the custody of Lucy when the social workers take her away from him T.T
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Lucy: Daddy, did God made for you to be like this or was it an accident?
Sam : Ok, what do you mean?
Lucy: I mean you're different.
Sam : But what do you mean?
Lucy: You're not like other daddies.
Sam : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Lucy: It's ok, daddy. It's ok. Don't be sorry. I'm lucky. Nobody else's daddy ever comes to the park.
Sam : Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, we are lucky. Aren't we lucky? Yeah!

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The best scene in this movie is probably the time when Sam, his friends and Lucy crossing the street with each of them holding a ballon, after they go to buy a pair of shoes for Lucy. It reminds me of walking with my Abah, holding his hands while crossing the street. I even do it until now :)
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All I can say is that we should be proud of our fathers because ours is undeniably the best of all. If the seven years old Lucy can accept that her father is different, why can't us? We should be unconditionally proud with our father. I remember one of my friends who doesn't like to introduce her father to people, saying that he is too old. WTH?.Sigh. She should be grateful :/
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Lucy: Why are men bald?
Sam : Sometimes they're bald because their head is shiny and they don't have hair on it. So their head is just more of their face.
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abah, i love you <3.

T o d a y

How was your first day of school sayang?Hope it turns out good :)

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It has been three days of staying in this college and still, I cannot accept the fact that I am now staying in the 2nd floor of Pala. Yes, I'm shifted 2 floors upward. No longer a groundfloor-er :( Why have they been this cruel? Last sem they sent me to Pala from my beloved Rambai, and now, they are giving the ground floor to the seniors. Dangg! Second floor is a bad thing, one thing I'm sure of. Away from tv room, away from the water cooler, away from the washing machine. Sobs T.T

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First day of school is quite good. Minus the fact that to go to our new classroom, I need to pass the 2-floors-stairs, climb up all the way to cafe, next is up the gelanggara, the slopy path to BA and head to our classs at 3-5. Huuh. And our previous class at Muhibah (that had been beautified) was given to juniors. Dangdangg! Minus the first lecturer mentioning about the coming assignments. Minus the second lecturer also talking about the next assignment in details. Minus the fact that I'm the new vice president of Tesol 1. Minus my extremely hurt feet walking back to my 2nd-floored room. Today was good, yeahh!

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Done with the negative energy. Btw, the result was out today.Ermm I am extremely relieved for it. I even thinking of buying myself a new pair of shoes as a reward (and also to make it easier to climb the stairs). I think a "thank you Allah, thank you mommydaddy and thank you friends" is not enough to say how grateful I am this moment. But not as overjoyed as my secondary school time, because I know this is just it. There's a lot more to face in the future, a lot more to learn for this "degree" title. It's not same with my previous life as a mrsm student where everybody was after a more than 3.50 pointer so they can get the principal's honour.Ohh how I miss the old time! There was one time, 3rd sem if I'm not mistaken, me and all my roomates were on the list! Yes, the 11 of us! We were so damn proud :) But now, everything has changed. I'm not as excited. Not as energetic. Not as positive. Maybe its because of the people :(

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I'm quite scared with the upcoming events. The new subjects and assignments sound scary. I don't know if I can cope with this.Sigh.Someone please help me. Someone.
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I'm HOMESICK!

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When you're alone coz I'm away

Don't feel sad, don't feel afraid

I'm gonna turn my thoughts to you

Like I always do <3

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Eh eh, nothing else I can say. The negative energy keeps on coming back :((

Hello, New Year!

Hello, people!

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...and may years ahead bring more happiness, joy and success. Amin.

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For about two decades of living, I can say that life is not easy. There are times we rise and fall, but eventually it makes us strong enough to keep on running. I am grateful to live my life and to be me, because it is something anyone else cannot be, not even close. On top of everything, I am thankful to have my beloved family and a bunch of great friends.
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One thing in my 2009 wishlist was granted. I wished to finish my foundation year and pass the final exam. Yes, thank God I've passed, tho the official result is not out yet. Pointer? Keep your fingers crossed, peeps. Wish me luck! Huu~ For 2010, I wish to:
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....and landing VOGUE-ly! yeahh.

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Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get.

Seize the day :)

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Doakan saya berjaya dengan warna2 yang berterbangan. Selamat melangkah ke degree year, Liyana!

Adolescene's innocence?

She was once a little girl, a very quite and obedient one. She was the kind of daddy's daughter who never objects, the perfect junior me. The one Abah said was the most similar to me in attitude and almost everything. That's Mia my sister.
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Mia will be 13 next year. I never thought she would grow up so fast that she now will be heading to a journey to be an adolescent. And frankly, I don't really trust that she is ready for a teenager's life. But now, I really mean now, she did change a lot. She becomes a rebel and continuosly acting in defiance. Not to mention, she now moves out from our shared room, preferebly to stay alone tho she knows that I do not dare to sleep alone T.T
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Is it hormone? Or is it nature? I didn't remember myself changing that much during my time. I just feel like I don't know her anymore. I try so hard not to fight with her but nowadays we seem to fight more and more often with each other. Is it because I don't understand her enough? Yes, I really really don't understand her. I hope this interval of time will end soon. Please cross your fingers :)
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In the meantime, as a good sister, I'll try to look up for something about children pshycology. I'll try, OK? After all, I may as well be teaching children in the future :)
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Cheers for Mia!
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Footnote #1: I have quite a few posts in que. Others will come later ok?

Footnote #2:Somebody said blogging in English is a way of showing off. I don't agree. What say you?

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Give you something to think about, huh? Till then :)

Sayang, you can dance!

One of the reasons why 2009 captures many beautiful moments in my life is because this year, I start something that I've been longing to since like forever. I dance! Though I dont have any experience in this thingy, let alone expertise, I really want to try it. For even once! So, together with my lovahs, I babystep to the world of dancer and to my surprise, I never wanna stop. Not even now.

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I remember volunteered myself for dancing since late 2008, when the seniors demand for dancers from TESL students. But unfortunately, the performance was cancelled at the last minute and to admit, I was quite disappointed. Seems like my hours of practice are thrown into the stinky, black garbage bin. Plus, we were about to do a traditional dance for "Walinong Sari" and for the beginners like us, we put a very commited effort for it. For nothing :(

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But our first performance was during the Suara Jati Night, when we were invited to perform. It was on 30th of July if I'm not mistaken. So with less than a week practice, we got on stage performing a country hiphop dance, Hoedown Throwdown from Hannah Montana movie. It wasn't anything serious anyway, but we were extremely happy. As if we got all the fame from that night. Hahaha. We were seriously beginners.

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And we named our dance group Legasi Katana, which we ourselves weren't so sure of the real meaning. And this is also because they rejected the "The Red Songket" name I gave :(

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the legacy.katana legacy :P


naming a few: lanlan.ridz.yayan (me).pyan.tyra.mierul

...plus afifi,lara,tq, hannah

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My second time was during the Teacher's Day celebration, in which we collaborated with the Rajawali Sakti Group performing Kurik Kundi. This day was also when we promoted our Siswa Budaya Club which is looking for new faces. This time was even tougher than our first time. With two days practice, and the stress put by the senior dancers (who were extremely enchanting.lovelovelove them ) make us not at ease. But the performance went on smoothly at last. Thank God :)

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Behind. Left to right: Ridz, Tyra, Kak Noni, Liyana, Kaber.

Front. Left to right: Izat, Kak Sya, Kak Syue, Lara, Pyan.

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Legasi Katana and Rajawali Sakti--hand in hand

[the senioritas: Liyana, Noni, Tyra, Lara, Syue, Nisya]

[those from Legasi Katana]

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The best time ever--TESL Night 2009. With the theme of Arabic Masquerade, we put on our mask and rocked the stage! We performed an Arabic-modern dance, with range of songs from Amr Diab to Lady Gaga. The duration was the longest since before and I have to say, I never commit to anything harder than this. For this performance, put aside everything. I missed one or two SS discussion for it.

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Seriously, it worth it.

the poster :)

princessas

the moments captured :)

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I had so much fun that night. It was totally the night I'd like to remember for a lifetime. We could taste the sweetness of the sweatS-y practices we had (Euww).

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In a nutshell, I just love dancing. Hee :))

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For the cynical lookS and jokeS about me clubbing whatsoever, just go to hell. I don't give a shit lah! I take it as a compliment, anyway :))))

bon anniversaire, bitch!

to my dearest RIDZ ;-

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!

for being friend, for good times and for bitch-ing together, here's a present for you (this probably has arrive at your wall :P )

[you and me.once upon a peaceful evening]

Before you get terharu with this present, let me advise you not to. This is just because I'm terribly bored at home and I don't know what to do with your pileS of photo in my device. But, as a return, I demand for the same for my next birthday :PPPP

yours truly,

yayan chantekk :)

Pink Fingers :)

This morning I made a cake and it turned out to be deadly delicious. Not as good as my fav choc indulgance, but good enough to convince me that I could do something with my kitchen.

Back then when I cooked Maggi murtabak for my friends they also said it was good (but a bit oily.Hee :P) And during our camping, the Nasi Lemak-Backwoodsman-Style that my group cooked was like...four-thumbs-up!

So, I'm not that bad, right? :))

btw pink fingers is the term like green fingers, but to put it in a kitchen context I replace the "green' with my fav color. Hee :PP

I've been thinking to you know, like stop my non-stop eating habit. But being home, foodies are such a bliss. And there are absolutely nothing that support me to do so. You know, things like 3 boxes of ice cream in the ref (and having ice cream in bed when its raining outside), your mom's cooked nasi lemak, and last night, bbq!

It was fun, tho I hadn't make up with Ayang yet. I dont know why, but we always fight with each other. Sometimes I feel like I hate her, like I am gonna take the top I bought for her back. Weird right, but I think I hate her because I can see myself in her. Stubborn-to-death.Huu :(( Whatever it is, m not gonna talk to her until she apologise *sigh*