Wednesday, December 17, 2008

mirror mirror on d wall,ples help me!

It has been long since I last post something here. I just got nothing appealing enough to share wit you people. But there’s actually a problem, one that not suppose to be a problem but I’m the one who make it a problem. Okehs, straight to the point. I just diagnosed wit a fatal disease. Love bipolar. Sux rite? But as far as I know, there ain’t any remedy for this disease. It don’t even exist in any medic diction! Is it true that time heals everything? It may works to you but unfortunately not for me. Funny rite how some things we just can’t deny even tho we’ve tried so much?

Let me tell you the situation. There’s been this guy, X. He’s friend. A special friend of mine. But then, a new kind of explosive, subtle, beautiful disastrous feeling just pop out. And honestly, I hate it. You know how I don’t believe in friendàlover relationship since the ruptured of my relationship wit you-know-who. But now the situation is different. Coz you know wut, the X person is already taken. wtf?! So I guess in this case its so unlucky I’m in love wit my best friend.

This is never the way I want our relationship to be. But can you hold the temptation when your heart start to like somebody more than you should? How can I stop this feeling? Seriously I want us to stay this way. I don’t want it to change even a bit. And on top of that, there’s no way I’d steal somebody’s. As I believe so much that what goes around, comes around I wish not to do bad things to people. Or at least, do less bad things to people.(but the evil side of me said “who cares?” =D)

One more thing is that X also treated me very well. It’s not my fault alone. Who tell him to be so kind to me? Don’t he know that I easily melts with that kind of people? And now, who’s gonna responsible for all my damaged heart? Of course he don’t know my feelings towards him, if not I’m dead meat! Actually I’m trying so hard to keep a distance between me and him but since he has been so damn cool then we keep on going as usual. Hate this situation where the person is right here near us but we still cudn’t reach them. But he’s also making the thing worse by making things that people see as “putting an effort” *yunee’s opinion!. I cudn’t understand it any better so it keeps on hunting my days wit all those big question marks in my head.

As I said earlier, I think I’m the one who make this thing a problem and I also know that I shudn’t let it kills our relationship. I do love him, more than a friend but dats all. It’s obviously not love, I’ll take it as attraction. That’s how we react to opposite sex I think. So for now I declared myself clear from any distraction of heart problem. I’ll be his very best friend. The one he would never leave behind.

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

The monkey on your back is the latest trend

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

You are always trying to keep it real

I'm in love with how you feel

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.

p/s: I love you

for those guys whos reading this post, it wasnt u okehs! dun worry..haha^^


Anonymous said...

if he edi meant 2 u...
he will be yours..
so dun worry babe..
it's lucky wat to be in luv wit ur bestfren...??
at least u can know everything bout him..esp who's his aweksssss...heheh
u noe wat.. jd kwn lg best dr jd lbey dr kwn..hmmm...
just always b beside him..
mayb he will notice u den..heheheh
gud luck in ur luv life..
*membina la ni konon..*wink

a.r.y.a.n.n.a said...

suda keciwa..
bek kte beteman tp mesra^^

Anonymous said...

sme la tu kak..
'teman tp mesra'..
do wat u think is d best 4 u gurl..

a.r.y.a.n.n.a said...

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more *kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
*hanya metaphor semata2
xpenah mgharap pon..

HoNeYsaH said...

i follow ur blog..
if u dun mind..ngee~~ ;)

it's biasa when fall in luv wif own bestfriend bcuz he/she is always wif us..
biasa ler tuh..
dont blame urself meh..

skdar kate perangsang yg kosong..
(^ ^)

a.r.y.a.n.n.a said...

it do helps..
thx 4 supporting..

jgn kt nk jdk follower,
nk jdk stalker pon boley..